Simple lessons we can learn from the mute swan

Modern-day Courtesans – The Mute Swan

Kensington Palace, London

Britain’s largest bird, and one of the world’s heaviest flying birds, the mute swan is commonly found throughout Britain the USA, Europe, Asia, and even in parts of Africa. There is evidence to substantiate the claim that they have occupied Britain for some 6, 000 years. On a chilly February day, at the lake in Kensington Palace, they enjoy being out amongst friends, gliding along the water’s surface, absorbing the promising rays  of sunshine, and foraging under the water’s surface for vegetation. Observing them for more than an hour, I realise that as humans, we can learn a few things from these lithe (albeit carrying some 15 kilograms), elegant, and seemingly unperturbed creatures.


sure you may be the tallest and largest, but you can still humbly show deference to the little people


you can remain cool and poised even when you want to slap someone for flying in your face


being the largest comes with the responsibility of treading lightly so as not to step on anyone’s toes


feigning sleep is a simple way of not having to deal with the crap!


or you can bounce…..and get the heck out of dodge!


remember that it’s always safer travelling in pairs


and letting the lady go first has its advantages


…..and one of those benefits is loyalty


And if the lady is a knock-out, there is no shame in drooling publicly


it’s a globalising world, and we must learn to get along, but when it gets rough, you can play ostrich and bury your head


and in the global village, being different does not make you an outcast, chicks will still dig you


and there is absolutely no shame in sobbing if you didn't score
and even if they don’t at first, sobbing, or grovelling are viable options


but save some pride for the retreat…..and know when to walk away


as there is always another opportunity riding in through the sunset


And when you hang out with friends, synchronised primping is not so bad. You are all, after all, courtesans….oops, I mean Kensington Palace birds……..of good stock and stature!


and a little bit of breast fluffing never hurts…..all part of the royal pomp and ceremony


and don’t forget the derriere


the armpits………


and never be too afraid to ruffle some feathers


especially if you can do it effortlessly, Linda Blair style


and if you ever have an identity crisis, and forget who you are, don’t be too shy to check yourself out ……even publicly


no worries if you don’t know, it’s easy to get wrapped up in things you enjoy…….


Okay, so you may have some flaws, but you are still have a fine…..asset


yes, and friends may snicker, whisper, and giggle when you walk by…….


but you can show them, right!? I mean, who else can sail through life on one leg?


And when it all shakes down, who really needs friends when you can so easily turn around and kiss your own ass!!

Now let’s see if Facebook can top that!!