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Modern-day Courtesans – The Mute Swan

Kensington Palace, London

Britain’s largest bird, and one of the world’s heaviest flying birds, the mute swan is commonly found throughout Britain the USA, Europe, Asia, and even in parts of Africa. There is evidence to substantiate the claim that they have occupied Britain for some 6, 000 years. On a chilly February day, at the lake in Kensington Palace, they enjoy being out amongst friends, gliding along the water’s surface, absorbing the promising rays  of sunshine, and foraging under the water’s surface for vegetation. Observing them for more than an hour, I realise that as humans, we can learn a few things from these lithe (albeit carrying some 15 kilograms), elegant, and seemingly unperturbed creatures.

 

sure you may be the tallest and largest, but you can still humbly show deference to the little people

 

you can remain cool and poised even when you want to slap someone for flying in your face

 

being the largest comes with the responsibility of treading lightly so as not to step on anyone’s toes

 

feigning sleep is a simple way of not having to deal with the crap!

 

or you can bounce…..and get the heck out of dodge!

 

remember that it’s always safer travelling in pairs

 

and letting the lady go first has its advantages

 

…..and one of those benefits is loyalty

 

And if the lady is a knock-out, there is no shame in drooling publicly

 

it’s a globalising world, and we must learn to get along, but when it gets rough, you can play ostrich and bury your head

 

and in the global village, being different does not make you an outcast, chicks will still dig you

 

and there is absolutely no shame in sobbing if you didn't score
and even if they don’t at first, sobbing, or grovelling are viable options

 

but save some pride for the retreat…..and know when to walk away

 

as there is always another opportunity riding in through the sunset

 

And when you hang out with friends, synchronised primping is not so bad. You are all, after all, courtesans….oops, I mean Kensington Palace birds……..of good stock and stature!

 

and a little bit of breast fluffing never hurts…..all part of the royal pomp and ceremony

 

and don’t forget the derriere

 

the armpits………

 

and never be too afraid to ruffle some feathers

 

especially if you can do it effortlessly, Linda Blair style

 

and if you ever have an identity crisis, and forget who you are, don’t be too shy to check yourself out ……even publicly

 

no worries if you don’t know, it’s easy to get wrapped up in things you enjoy…….

 

Okay, so you may have some flaws, but you are still have a fine…..asset

 

yes, and friends may snicker, whisper, and giggle when you walk by…….

 

but you can show them, right!? I mean, who else can sail through life on one leg?

 

And when it all shakes down, who really needs friends when you can so easily turn around and kiss your own ass!!

Now let’s see if Facebook can top that!!

 

 

 

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