My answer to What joke will make one burst into laughter for at least 30 seconds?
Answer by Enna Morgan:
Guaranteed to keep one laughing for more than 30 seconds! If you have a resident drunk relative in the family (and we all do), the imagery and experience is much more enhanced………
HOW TO MAKE MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS COOKIES
1 cup of water, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp salt, 1 cup brown sugar, 1 tsp lemon juice, 4 large eggs, 1 cup nuts, 2 cups dried fruit,
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Important: Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar, beat again.
At this point it is best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK; try another cup…just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, pick the frigging fruit off the floor.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar or somefink. Whatever your can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the rest of the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.