Playing the slots (not a typo) in Indy

Long roads, corn fields, nothing much to see…oh, maybe it’s because it’s early in the morning and I am not yet awake…..well, ‘awake’ in my definition.

It was approximately 9am, and I was weaving my way through Shelbyville, Indiana, to the Indiana Grand Racing and Casino, the 233, 000 sq ft gaming establishment. This was the venue of our commerical shoot a few Thursdays ago Aug. 20th), with the fabulous fun group – myself (well, of course, because I am fun!…..oh, and fabulous) along with a few others from Talent Fusion, Heyman Talent and several featured talent from Chicago, to include the vivacious Ginneh Jolan, the dancing queen.

I must confess that this was my first time drinking and slotting…..okay, don’t panic, we are keeping this conversation family friendly! The drinks were not real, and I will admit that I did not actually drink anything, and though the homophone ‘slot’ sounds like ‘slut,’ my agent can rest assured that I did nothing to scandalise the neighbourhood. Although…..hmm, their meanings are totally different, yet they are both prominently featured in a Casino! Okay, well yes, I can see how this can be confusing!

So to clarify, in one scene, I was (pretending to be) drinking lime juice (which had the appearance of a cocktail), and playing the slot machine – to create the appearance of being a casino patron. And in another scene, I again pretended to be drinking and frolicking as a part of someone’s ”fantasy.” So you see,……all totally harmless! Okay switching subjects, let’s talk food.

Lunchbreak was announced after several hours of hard work – yes, we actually worked – this consisted of an amazing spread of delectables, arranged buffet-style over a vast expanse of a dining area: desserts of all kinds (of course I’ll notice that first, as that really is the best part of a meal!), an array of savoury soups, vegetarian selections, and delectable meat and pasta concoctions (well, they looked and smelled delectable).

Of all the (vegetarian) dishes I sampled (that’s one of the tricks to maintaining a trim figure – sample everything, commit to nothing), I will venture an opinion that the reason why the patrons remain in this  establishment all day and night is definitely the food. Oh, it’s the slot, you say? Nah! ”Come and lose your money to us” is just the hook, the food is the line, and the dessert, well most definitely the sinker!

And with that fiat, I will definitely hail a hearty ”thank you” to Mr Joel Umbaugh, of Zoo Creative, the director of this video production; he sure knows how to treat his cast and crew members – buffet-style cuisine, refillable cocktails, delightful company at every turn, and we’re all on camera – just what my doctor ordered!……or was that my Epicurean friend in Long Caye Island, Belize?

Now to return back to earth and reality, since all my previous ‘casino’ experiences were limited to rushing through as quickly as I can to escape the shroud of smoke and the deafening din and clang of the Vegas slot mayhem (no intentional prevarication), this ten-hour experience of feigning intimacy with unknown cocktails and cranking slot machine handles is certainly one that will be memorialised.

To say the least, it is definitely one, which I am sure will have to be carefully explained to St Peter when I get to the pearly gates, as somehow I don’t think he’ll go for ‘m I bad! Alright, let’s all remain calm, no need to go into respiratory distress just yet, I think I have enough time to come up with a convincing enough story. Let’s see I’ll need a few alibis…..no, I’ll pass on the slots – too risky!